Mom: I’m leaving, don’t watch no tv you still grounded
Mom: *comes home early*
I’d happily watch an 8 hour film adaptation of a book if it meant every little book detail was put in it
"Only one more chapter, then sleep."
I FUCKING SAW THIS AT WAL MART I CANT FUCKIGN TAKE IT IM STILL LAUHGING FU CK
not funny tho….
congratulations. by reblogging this post with 41 thousand notes and commenting “not funny tho…”, you have successfully turned the tides of history. everybody is looking down solemnly at their computer keyboards, as millions of ants pour out of their fingernails. this post is no longer funny. the world has stopped spinning. a child cries as its parents turn into 4 foot tall spiders. a mother robin devours her young, the sun itself turning into a “no fun allowed” sign. are you proud of how much you’ve done. are you proud of your impact on society and the future of the world. your head dislocates from your body, your mouth devouring yourself inside out until you cease to exist. there is nothing. it is now funny. a chorus of screaming laughter erupts from the void.
watching sex scenes on planes can be somewhat uncomfortable when you get an erection next to a sweet old lady
I’m not asking an old lady to chop my dick off what the frick
today I saw a preteen girl pick up Mean Girls at Target and ask her friend what it was. She didn’t even know. She said it sounded dumb. The people are forgetting. The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.
i know i joke about it, but i am legit seriously worried i’m going to be alone my whole life.
(Source: i-am-broken, via guy)