MY BROTHER TRIED TO MAKE RICE IN A POT AND ENDED UP BURNING EVERYTHING AND NOW IT’S JUST THIS YELLOW MASS OF ROCK-HARD MATTER AND WE COULDN’T EVEN OPEN THE POT FOR THE FIRST TEN MINUTES BECAUSE SMOKE WOULD TRIGGER THE ALARMS AND THE POT WOULD RELEASE THE SOUND OF A TRAIN WHISTLE
"WHY DID YOU NOT USE THE RICE COOKER?" I ASKED
"I DON’T KNOW," HE RESPONDED
WE HAVE EVERY FAN IN THE HOUSE TURNED ON AND YET EVERYTHING STILL SMELLS LIKE THE INDUSTRIAL AGE, MY BROTHER HAS STARTED BREATHING THROUGH A BLANKET AND MAKING TERRIBLE JOKES LIKE “I FAILED TO RICE TO THE OCCASION” I’M SO BELLIGERENT
Tumblr user rantingallday sighed in contentment, reclining in their seat. They clicked “reblog” with their left hand, their right hand having been stuck firmly inside their asshole after an unfortunate masturbatory experiment in the sixth grade.
"Asians," they thought with a chuckle. "And rice. Am I funny or what?"
Adjusting themselves in their chair to better accompany the fist in their sphincter, they used their free hand to caress a poster of Seth Green mounted on the wall of their mother’s basement.
"Perhaps now… Perhaps now he will love me…"
dude, did you have to be such an asshole?
SSSSHHHHH. no words now. only dreams.
imagine with me: imagine being a woc who wants to share a funny story about her brother. imagine hesitating just before hitting post, because you think people will comment with references to racial stereotypes. imagine shaking your head and thinking “it’s gonna be 2014 in like a week, people aren’t that ignorant”
now imagine 60,000 notes later, you are wrong as fuck. SSHH. JUST IMAGINE. one out of every twenty comments on that post has to do with that god. damned. stereotype. imAGINE. every four times you refresh your dash, you get a notification!! tumblr user _____ has said ”lol he isnt asian”! tumblr user _____ has said “he bring dishonor on famiry!” tumblr user _______ has said “Asians”
now IMAGINE: this isn’t the only fucking post i responded to, and in fact, it isn’t even one of the worst things i have said!! i haven’t the slightest idea why this particular version is popular but oh well!
i will be the biggest fucking asshole on the goddamn planet towards every shit who makes similar comments and i have absolutely no desire to be even remotely civilized towards anybody who continues to do so